... because you see this is NOT going to be one of those blogs demanding that you set your New Year Resolutions Right Now!  And I promise you I will not reappear like an Avenging Angel(a) at the end of March demanding to know which of the Cursed Resolutions you have already broken!

Seems to me that New Year Resolutions are a load of tosh!  Are you seriously going to restrict your caffeine intake to only 2 cups of Joe a day?  Are you never going to eat chocolate again?  Are you actually going to work out at the Gym every single lunchtime come what may - really?

Okay - on the face of it it might be a Good Thing to 'resolve' to do this that or the other but it seems to me that resolutions are a bit wishy-washy and kinda designed to end in failure by the end of the month - if not sooner! 

So why not take the opportunity to set a few personal GOALS instead?  Why not do it in a way that encourages us to keep to them and actually achieve them?

Let's take a look at some examples of good goal setting:

SO HAPPY 2012 EVERYONE! 

Make this the year you achieve exactly what you want without beating yourself up!  But remember ...

Watch out for my next blog ... but do me a favour ... If I haven't posted by the end of the first week of February - give me a nudge!!

Warm regards as ever,
Angie
The Cinnamon Coach

Love to hear your views on this!  Have  great weekend!

I went to the opticians the other day for my annual eye-test.  I am delighted to say that (a) I did not need new glasses and (b) my Peripheral Vision is 40 out of 40 on both eyes.  (I mention this last merely to point out that if you are thinking of sneaking up on me - forget it)

While I was going through the "better with, better without" routine it occurred to me that when my vision was focussed and sharp I had no difficulty in reading the letters on the chart but when my vision was blurred what was a 'b' could have been a 'd' an 'a' could have been a 'c' or even an 'o' etc.  There were a number of possibilities.

This led me to a thought.  We are constantly advised to "keep focussed" "to keep our eye on the ball" "don't lose sight of our target" etc etc.  (I've given that advice myself!) and 99% of the time that's good advice.

But what might happen if we allow our focus to soften and blur?  Might not what appeared clear and obvious appear different?  Might not our minds open to new possibilities coming out of the shadows?  Possibilities that we had discounted because our vision and our ideas were so sharp, well-defined and focussed - you could even say 'blinkered'?

Now and again why not try that 1% soft focus.  Could be interesting!

Happy New Year folks! 

But did you start it with the Ghastly Flu/Lurgy/Unidentified Yucks?

There is, as they say, a lot of it about and for most of us it is easy to deal with.  Stay in bed, wrap up warm, drink lots of fluids, buy shares in Kleenex and Beechams Ultra and just wait it out.  It's not nice and it's not fun - but it is do-able.  Fact is though that, as we know, when our immune system is down we lay ourselves open to all sorts of other nasties.  (My own headcold morphed into flu which in turn morphed into a chest infection.  All this combined with the nasty side effects of lack-lustre hair, dry skin and almost total lethargy as my poor little bod marshalled  its forces to fight off the bugs).

But what happens when our emotional immune system is targeted?  When something major comes along - the breakdown of a relationship, a bereavement, loss of a job etc, our emotional immune system is just as much under attack as our physical immune system is when we fall ill.

Suddenly little things that we might have glossed over without much thought, such as an apparently brusque email or a friend not returning a call, can take on enormous significance - far more than they would merit ordinarily. (Remember the story of Gulliver?  Tied down with strands by the people of Lilliput he was literally helpless.  He could have broken any one of those ropes easily - but all together?  No way.)  Suffering all this can actually lead to physical illness, insomnia, upset stomach, ulcers, etc so it needs to be got a grip of - now.

Someone said to me  "I'm normally such a strong person and usually take things in my stride but since X happened I simply can't cope with all the other stuff day-to-day.  It's just too much"

So what's the answer?

Obviously - as with your physical immune system - you could bolster yourself with medication or alcohol.  BUT - unlike good old Beecham's which suppresses the symptoms allowing your body to fight the nasties - your emotional immune system requires - well an emotionally-based response!

Here are some ideas which have helped me and others I know in the past:

1. Write down all the emotional nasties assailing you from the major to the minor.
2. Decide which ones you want to focus on, clear up and get rid of.
3. Decide which ones are really not that important in the great scheme of things and throw them out.
   
4. Get a clear picture in your mind of how you want things to turn out.  Get this picture and keep it clear.  Really visualise how it will be.  Put yourself into the picture and see what you will see; hear what you will hear and feel how you will feel.  Do this often.
   
5. Gather your forces.  Decide how you are going to deal with these challenges and what tools you will need.  These tools may include your A-team (a bunch of people you know you can rely on); professional help from a coach or counsellor or even saved-up holiday days.
6. Above all be kind to yourself.  Sure you are 'usually a strong person' but that doesn't mean that you are not allowed to feel weak and overwhelmed now and again. Believe me EVERYBODY does and if they say they don't ..........  What makes the difference is what you DO about it.

So let's all make 2011 the year we all take super care of ourselves - inside and out!


(P.S.  If any of this strikes a chord with you and you'd like to chat please get in touch. 
See contact details top right)

In common with many people across the UK and further afield, we have been experiencing some severe weather conditions and have actually been cut off and without running water for three days.  What with that and the run-up to Christmas I have been doing a fair bit of planning ahead in terms of food supplies, presents, bringing people home for Christmas etc etc.
However at some stage in the planning ahead The Worry Wort has crept into the picture.

As usual his arrival is preceded by an attack of the "What Ifs" - 'What if the Tesco van can't get up the hill because of the snow?'; 'What if my son can't make it to the ferry in time because of the weather?'; 'What if the pipes freeze over again?' and so on.  As I have blogged before, sometimes these 'What ifs' pop up at 3.am. but they are not limited to the small hours believe me!  The thing is that The Worry Wort can very easily make way for his big brother - The Stress Monster - and we all know what that means!

So how do we deal with the Worry Wort?

As with many bullies, we face up to him and counter his 'What ifs' with the 'So Whats'.  'So what if Tesco can't make it up the hill!  We'll get on our winter togs and walk to the store'.  'So what if our loved ones miss the ferry!  They'll catch the next one' etc etc.

The other thing we do to counter The Worry Wort is to simply plan ahead.  Bad weather on the way?  Make sure you have extra supplies.  Pipes might freeze?  Lag 'em my friend!

Above all shift your focus.  You always get more of what you focus on in your thinking.  So if you spend your time focusing on negative outcomes guess what you'll get?

As Shakespeare said "There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so"

And then of course who else would we turn to for logical thinking?

So, in closing I am not going to say "Don't Worry Be Happy!" (because in my experience that is intensely irritating and can get you smacked....), I am simply going to ask you:

As always - I'm interested to hear what you think and if you have any tips or suggestions to share.

Sitting at my desk the other day I looked at the first item on my 'to do' list and realised that I just didn't feel like doing it.  My heart was simply not in it.  So I didn't.  I did something else.'Hang on!' I can hear you say.  "What's this?  Someone who's supposed to be coaching others in the Ways of Motivation and Getting Things Done suggesting the easy way out?  The cop out? What's going on?"

Well here's the thing.  If you go ahead with a task when your heart is not in it - whether it's a project at work; painting the shed or clearing out the garage - you'll invariably do a rubbish job.  If you don't care about what you are doing it will show through and be very obvious in the final result.  Doing a half-a***d  job also means you won't get the great feeling of accomplishment in a job well done and you will feel hard done by - (even if you have set the task yourself).

OK of course there are times when we simply have to Cowboy the Heck Up and Ranger On but there are also times when we can sit back, take stock - and do something else.

So give it a try next time you are faced with something you don't really feel like doing - at that moment.  Give yourself a break, do something else on your list and return to your project when you are enthusiastic and excited about it.  It will pay dividends.

What happened to my deferred task?  You're reading it - and do you know what I really enjoyed writing it.

As always, I look forward to your comments and to hearing about what works for you,

The other week I was having coffee with someone and told them I had finally got around to blogging.   This statement was met with great  enthusiasm.  "Well done you!  I don't know where you find the energy, let alone the time, to blog every day!"  "Er... every day?" I responded weakly.  "Sure!" came the reply "EVERYONE who blogs does so every day".  Biting back the instant response "What - EVERYONE?" I smiled faintly and changed the subject.

Back at home I sat in front of my computer and thought about how I could find the time to blog daily - as well as write The Cinnamon Newsletter, keep up with emails, Facebook, LinkedIn and all that other stuff that my marketing guru tells me is a "Must" let alone continue to meet with clients and draw up new ideas for training programmes - oh and study as well.  I looked at my To Do list for the day.  It had at least 10 items on it - some of which would take at least an hour or more to complete properly and it was already 12.30.

It was when the oven pinger went off (I work mainly from home) to remind me that there was bread in the oven, simultaneously with the washer telling me to remove the wet laundry and a reminder of my next appointment popping up on the screen that I had a Lightbulb Moment.

I should say at this point that I am - and will continue to be - a great advocate of lists.  They work for me in that they help bring some structure to my day - ( if not to what I am pleased to call my mind).  I recommend them to my clients and will continue to draw them up myself.

But what my Lightbulb realisation was that I had way too many things on my lists to ever hope to complete them (a) on time and (b) properly.  I flicked back through my day book looking at previous lists.  I hadn't noticed how many items were rolled over to the next day.  Even worse - some items were not rolled over at all  and had just sunk to the bottom of the To Do pile and been forgotten altogether!

Hence my new Resolution.  It's a very simple three-part idea:

1. DO LESS
2. DO IT BETTER
3. DO IT NOW
   

I'm off to prune today's list.  Tomorrow's list will be much shorter and achievable!  I'll let you know how I get on.  Oh and if you have any tips please share them below.

As some of you know I've been concentrating on Emotional Intelligence a great deal over recent months.  Studying, reading and research, coaching individuals and developing training programmes for organisations here on the Isle of Man who want to understand both what EI can do for them personally and what benefits having an emotionally intelligent culture can bring to their particular organisation.One of the first things I found was that telling people about Emotional Intelligence and explaining what it is and what it does is not nearly as challenging as coming up with exercises and ideas to practically demonstrate how they can put that knowledge into practice and actively use EI for themselves, their friends and workmates. 

So I was delighted to come across this very short, straightforward and simple video by Deepak Chopra about recognising and dealing with one's emotions. A little bit more of the puzzle!

By way of a footnote, I would like to point out that, although it is great to have a well defined structure like this, it is not simple or straightforward for everyone.  For example, accepting responsibility for a particular emotion can take a great deal of time for one individual just as truly letting go of an emotion can be particularly challenging for another.  I have used a similar process with some of my coaching clients and they take varying amounts of time to get the results they seek.  But then - thank goodness - we are all different!  How boring it would be otherwise!!

As they say at the end of some TV documentaries: "If you have been affected by the issues contained in this programme ........" please get in touch (contact details in the right hand column). I'd be delighted to talk it through with you.

As ever, looking forward to your comments!

I admit it - I can be wrong.  There I've said it! 

What has given rise to this latest revelation and piece of self-awareness?

I have just discovered that listening to and half-watching BBC iPlayer while I am working at home actually really helps!  I have no idea why but it just seems to make it easier for me to concentrate and makes me more productive than when I am sitting alone in my office at home in front of a silent computer screen.  Funnily enough it doesn't work with iTunes.  For me it has to be visual (I am currently working through back episodes of 'Doctors" for goodness sake!)

Note for my Coaching Clients:  Don't worry!  When you come to see me you will not have to shout to make yourself heard over Bon Jovi or Aerosmith or battle against the latest episode of 'Houses Under the Hammer"!!  Time and place!  :-D

So how does this relate to learning from my kids?  Well back in the days of homework I was ALWAYS at the bottom of the stairs yelling "Turn that row off! How can you possibly concentrate with that racket going on"!!  Now I realise that perhaps playing loud music while doing homework perhaps somehow relaxed them and made it easier for them to be creative and actually aided their concentration rather than hinder it..

So - I put my hands up - they were right and I was wrong!

That got me to thinking.  What else might we learn from our kids?  Especially our little ones?  Here are my 'starters for 10".

Kids don't judge
Children take people at face value.  It doesn't matter what they are wearing, how they speak or what colour they are.  They see people for who they are and form their opinions in a different way - hopefully unprejudiced by the opinions of parents and other adults.

Kids learn by having fun
Little kids especially learn much more through play than they do by rote.  (When I started to learn French at the age of 11 I was subjected to endless verb declensions and grammar homework.  It was only when I got to College at 17 and had a French teacher who actually made learning French FUN by introducing us to the novels of Francoise Sagan, in the original French of course, that I began to "get it")

Kids are not afraid of failure
Small children don't go into something - like learning to ride a bike - with the preconceived notion that they are bad at it and will not be able to do it.  I heard somebody on the radio this morning saying that she had always wanted to do something-or-other but "was worried at [her] ability to learn".  (If we don't try and challenge ourselves every now and again how much will we miss?)

Kids are honest ...
... sometimes disarmingly so!  As in "Mummy, why is that lady so fat?"  "Because she has a baby in her tummy dear"  "Why is it in her tummy?  Has she eaten it"  (OK I did make that up but you get the gist...)  If we could just keep that honesty and temper it with experience and tact.....

Kids are curious
Having an open and curious mind, ready always to challenge and explore what is new and different is something I personally NEVER want to lose.  "What if?" is, in my opinion, a very under-used phrase.  Children ask themselves that question all the time and discover all sorts of things as a result.  As the old saying goes "Do what you always did and get what you always got".

Those are my ideas.  I look forward to hearing yours!